Thursday, September 3, 2015

What's this about mommy guilt?

So, I've only been a mom for just shy of nine months and I only have one kid. You aren't a real parent until you have two, right?! However, in this time I've learned a lot. I've learned about myself, my spouse and other people. At times I've been shocked and overwhelmed, both positively and negatively. The biggest thing I continue to think is, "Did I miss all this mom slamming before or is this a new thing?" Every single day when I log on to Facebook I see some article about moms. Rarely an article about dads, but the mom articles abound. Articles circulating on everything from breastfeeding to maternity leave to diapering to working vs staying home. The articles never seem to touch on the options a mom has on said issues but rather why one option is better than another on any given issue. I'm continuously amazed.

 I'm a breast feeding, cloth diapering, baby food making stay at home mom who stuck my fragile little newborn in his bedroom by himself from night 1 at home. Sometimes I've given Motrin nights on end without ensuring the symptoms still exist. I let my baby put toys in his mouth in public and have never used a cart or high chair cover. I started letting him cry it out at four months and put him to sleep on his belly by five months. In all of that I'm sure there is something gross, wrong or offensive to another mom. I'm sure no mom is doing everything the exact same way I am. You know what? That is fine. Good for you and your disposable diapered, co-sleeping, germaphobic, formula fed baby. I am sure you and your baby are happy and healthy. 

To me that's what it all comes down to. To be perfectly honest I've never let myself get too worked up over the opinions on how others think I should parent. I've felt mostly overwhelming support from other moms who have been there or are currently in the same phase as me. With all that being said, I just don't feel the mommy guilt and you shouldn't either. I think it's something we've made up as we decide how we should feel or as we compare ourselves to other moms. I know I'm only nine months into this gig but some days we sing songs and enjoy each other all day while other days I have to escape into my phone for a few moments just to survive. Some days I miss him while he naps and other days I long for a few minutes away. Some days he never gets shorts on while other days he's dressed to a t. And all of those days are just fine. No guilt here. I'm just doing the best I can do. I'm sure you are too. So, cheers, mama. Whether today is a pantsless, TV watching, wine drinking kind of day or you're feeling like mom of the year, go ahead and take away the guilt, mommy guilt no more... You are doing your very best and your little guy or gal thinks the world of you regardless. 

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